don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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