Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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