Where is the hickey?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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