Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
