Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
