His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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