Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
