When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
