And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
