she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
