tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
