I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
