i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
