Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
