I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
