she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
