You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
