I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
