bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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