..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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