Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
