id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
