Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
