I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Too much gin, very little bucket
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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