I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
