Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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