its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
