i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
