Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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