PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i believe in u and ur pee
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
