Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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