Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
