the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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