Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
