Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
