Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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