Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
