someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
