Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize