Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You need Xanax blowdarts
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
