Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
