no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
