Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
