He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
