Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
