Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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