Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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