If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
