I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
