but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
